A night at The World Famous Apollo Theater
Before you read this, let it be known I ramble in thought. Some of my blogs and journals are like Spike Lee’s early films, a lot is going on in it. So here we go.
My very first television performance took place in August of two thousand three. Against my better judgment I lowered my expectations of myself and tapped a comedic segment for BET’s Comicview. Unfortunately it was the only venue for black comics to get seen. No disrespect to those who did it before or after me. It just wasn’t the venue I wanted to make my debut on. If you need five ask for ten and you may get seven, that’ how I look at certain things. I didn’t want to go in the same direction as all the other black comics at the time. I simply wasn’t feeling the platform in which black comics were being displayed. None the less I did it. It tapped in Los Angeles of all places. Just not the best place to do something of that magnitude. And I only say this because in nineteen ninety-nine, late comedian great, Mitch Hedberg did his half hour special in front of an audience that stared at him like a deer in headlights. It was so unsettling to me. Mitch was brilliant and a little before his time. People ask me all the time “Maronzio were you nervous, how did you feel, did you know what you were going to say”. I was a little nervous, but I think I focused so much attention on what I was going to wear that it took up any time I had to be nervous. All I know is, fifteen minutes before I walked on stage, I had yet to figure out what my opening joke was going to be. Partly because at last moments notice, BET alerted me that I would be unable to wear my nostalgic Atari, t-shirt on stage. And the other part was I was just hoping the joke angel had something for me when I got out there. Ask fellow comedian Chris Spencer and close friend, who at the time knew most of comedy like a book. Needless to say I did it, and I think I did very well. I didn’t use profanity to get my point across, nor did I use premises or topics that the other comics were using at the time. I think Kobe and R. Kelly were the only jokes that were being told that season. I honestly believed they dropped a box of those jokes on a bunch of comics and they all grabbed one. It’s sad I know, but hey what can you do. If everyone was original, no one would be. Who said this business was about talent? It’s about what the people view as funny, even if that means them hearing it one hundred times over, but from a different black comic in a different outfit and didn’t voice, louder than the comic before him. Because louder means funnier right?
So here’s my chance to perform at the World famous Apollo. An offer that came about, through a manager out of New York named Jason Steinberg. We had talked on the phone a couple of times about working together, but hadn’t finalized anything. He calls me up around four something on a Friday evening and asks me would I like to perform at the Apollo. My first response was, “sure but can I be honest Jason”. He said I wouldn’t expect anything else from you. I said “I would really like a half hour on Comedy Central”. I’ve seen the people who get them in the past. There is no reason why I should even have to ask after what I have seen the past three or four years. It has nothing to do with people being funny obviously. Not to say all were bad, because some were hilarious and deserving. But for the most part it was like a Kelis album, one or two good ones and the rest were ass. He replied by saying the way they go about giving them out, I said the explanation bullshit and told him, if he can get me booked on the Apollo, go for it. An hour or two later I get a call back from Jason, saying I got you booked for tomorrow night at the Apollo at six. And right as he said that I almost shit on myself. I really wasn’t expecting him to say you’re booked at The Apollo.
Now, knowing what I know about the Apollo and its track record and history, my first thought was, what I will say on this show. I take that back, my first thought was, whatever you do, don’t get booed. But following close behind in my thoughts like the FBI on Michael Vick, was what I was going to wear. This should have been the furthest thing from my mind at the time. I shifted all my energy to my outfit like I was Kanye West getting ready for the Grammys. I went to American Eagle, Banana Republic, and The Gap, searching for that outfit. That outfit was nowhere to be found. Had I had the proper help, I probably could have gotten a sponsor. I finally settled on an outfit after hours of train hopping.
Saturday comes and the butterflies are ten in my stomach. I spend the last waking moments before the car comes to pick me up, yes The Apollo sent a car for me. I was shocked myself. Anyhow the car came and I make way over to The Apollo. As we approach The Apollo, a young man is running out of it at full speed, his tuxedo coat chasing behind him. I immediately inquire at the commotion. Turns out the young man running, was running due to getting booed by the crowd. I was afraid to ask what he thought his talent was. All I know is the crowd didn’t think he had what he thought he had. I’m directed to my dressing room by one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure working with in the business. A bald headed fellow by the name of Ron, to cool for words. He got me settled in, and came back to check on me several times until it was showtime for me. I walked around my room collecting my thoughts, thinking about the history of the place, the longevity of the place, and how much longer will it be there until someone comes in and tries to tear it down. I take a few photos of the dressing room, got dressed, and listened to Kanye West for theme music. Ron came up stairs to let me know I had ten minutes until I was up. The bubbles start to form. I go in the bathroom, take a knee, spoke to GOD and made my way down the steps.
I’m about to go on stage in front of The Apollo crowd. Yes this crowd is known for ending careers, making people relocate from their home towns, even go in to witness protection programs. All that came to light once I got the word from the stage manager that I would be up in ten minutes. Even with my debut coming up in a few minutes, I couldn’t help but think of how truly lucky Bobby Valentino is. He was the special guest singer on the show. I remember him from a long time ago when he was in that group Mista, with their one hit “Blackberry Molasses”. Then I only recall him releasing one song off his first solo project and here he is again with a second album, performing at The Apollo live, sort of. I shook my head in disbelief and said there truly is a God, that’ the only excuse for this. Then they let this child go before me on the Apollo Kids portion, which soften the crowd a little, because the young man could really sing. Bobby Valentino tried to fight him later. He accused the young man of trying upstage Bobby, by having actual talent. Then I was thinking how can you boo a child? So after he exits they say now for our featured comedian for the evening, they read my credits or something to that affect and brought me out. I felt a rush come over me that can only be described as fear, but I was like”you’re here now”. I went out on that stage, which looks humongous watching it from home. Not as big as I thought, but big enough to hold enough, drunk, angry, disgruntle, you better be funny or else people that got in free. My first joke went over well, being as I didn’t know what I was going to say. Then they stop tapping due to technical problems, right in the middle of my act. I almost shit on myself. But I had to make the best out of the situation. So I did something to make the crowd laugh as I made my exit, gaining their respect I guess you could say. They re-announced me again and I had to a slight cushion of respect and six minutes later I was walking off to applauses. Now I can’t tell you all the jokes I made, because to be totally honest with you, I don’t remember anything in the middle of my act. I completely left my body and came back when it was over. I walked off to people on the side cheering and congratulating me on my performances. I was truly overwhelmed, but at the same time a little disappointed that I could not remember eighty percent of the experience, due to nervousness. At the end of the day, ladies and gentlemen I made history. I had the pleasure of performing on the same stay as Bill Cosby, Chris Rock, Sam Cook, James Brown, Ray Charles, and even Bobby Valentino. No one can take that from me. Even if I can’t remember most of it.
“one day it’ll all make sense”
